The “really tied the chili together” Chili

Up until this evening, i had a brand new, still in the box, untouched 4 qt. oval slow cooker sitting in the bottom of my cupboard, providing support for some boxes of pretzel snacks. Not emotional support, although i’m sure they could use it due to my propensity for eating those things, but physical, i’ve been glued to this spot since Christmas 2009 support. For reasons i’ll reduce to availability of canned goods, a big-ass (well, medium-ass) cooker and the craving for a hearty, reusable meal, i decided to pull it all out and see what type of chili concoction i could come up with. As with all of my cooking endeavours, there are no definitive plans as to what will end up in the meal, quantities of ingredients to be used, or how long it will be cooked for. That’s for amateurs, dude. Also, can you really fuck up a chili? Here’s what i ended up with. I gotta say it turned out to be pretty durned tasty, which is amazing since i’m gonna be eating it clear through next Tuesday.

The "really tied the chili together" Chili

2 cans red kidney beans
1 can chick peas
1 can whole kernel corn
1 can diced tomatoes
1/3 chopped red onion
o.5 kg lean ground beef
1 packet tomato vegetable soup mix
sweet chili & pepper seasoning
garlic powder
montreal steak spice
ground pepper
bbq sauce & mustard

The preparation is retardedly simple. Put everything except the beef into the cooker. Add sauces and seasonings as you see fit. I like it hotter, so more pepper, mustard and spices for me. Fire up the cooker on high and put the lid on. Now you can brown the beef in a separate frying pan, then add it to the cooker with the rest of the stuff. I left it on high for a couple hours, then switched to low for another 4ish hours. I’m sure you could do the whole thing on low and leave it for the day if you had, you know, somewhere to be.

Where the magic happened here i think, was with the corn and the soup mix. They really tied the chili together. Other things i would have chucked in, had new shit come to light, would have been some chopped green/red peppers and some type of hot sauce. My bbq sauce/mustard combo served as my hot sauce substitute. I suppose you could also leave out the beef and go veggie if you’re one’a them types, but that would be like, your opinion, man.
Serves: a shit-ton.


  1. Avatar
    Killer says:

    Dude, wait to you discover how fucking easy it is to make a roast in dat suckah! Plop roast in with 3/4 cup of water and onion soup mix, cook on low for 6-7 hrs if you have the time or high for aboot 4-5hrs…woo!

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